"Masseuse" is the 9th episode of the fifth season of the American sitcom Seinfeld. It aired on November 18, 1993, and was written by Peter Mehlman and directed by Tom Cherones. The episode revolves around Jerry's girlfriend, a masseuse, who refuses to give Jerry a massage because of his comedy-club material about her profession. Meanwhile, George's father is rushed to the hospital and Elaine discovers a chopstick in her takeout order. The episode is known for its memorable quote: "It's not a lie if you believe it."
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